It is important for us to understand that the way train our children in the early stage of life is critical for their destiny realization. That is, it determines the outcome of the child both in time and in eternity.
Note that children learn things very fast even more than the majority of the adult. So do your utmost best in inculcating them with the right knowledge and information.
The Bible is not making a mistake when it says. “Train up a child in the way that he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6).
Child training commences from the womb. A pregnant woman communicates, or should communicate with the child in her womb. Even caring fathers who understand this divine principle of connecting with their unborn child utilize every available opportunity to talk to the unborn baby.
Caring mums and dads speak definite words into the lives of their children long before they are born. These parents do not stop or go on recess when the children are born; they continue bonding with them. Parent-child bonding is one of the greatest fruitful bonding among human beings.
Training of infants is a continuation of the parent-child bonding that came into existence when the child was still in the womb. From the infancy stage till the preteen years, the type of parenting is basically total parenting. As the name implies, total parenting means that the parents are totally in charge of the child’s life.
This does not in any way remove the rights of the child. It only gives the parents some measure of dominance and control over the child. It is at this stage that most values are inculcated into the child.
As soon as the child becomes an adolescent, the game plan changes. There is a switch to cooperative parenting. Here, the parents are not in total control. The child, now referred to as teen is a major stake holder in decision making.
At this stage they question a lot of things and parents tend to get into lots of arguments with them. One of the reasons for this is the fact that they are now exposed to more external influences than when they were children. In addition, they have minds of their own, and some of them have started making their own plans for the future.
It is obvious that it will be difficult, if not impossible to knock off habits that have taken root in an individual from childhood to adolescence. Some of them will clutch these habits tightly and defend them vehemently.
Do you now see reasons with me why the most effective parenting period is the period between when a child is born and when they become adolescents?
In view of this, there are seven unwholesome habits that must be dealt with before the child crosses over to the adolescent and post-adolescent years. It will be fool hardy trying to handle those issues later. Some of those habits later degenerate into more terrible social vices if they were not dealt with in childhood, unless by divine intervention,.
The habits include:
This is very common in children. In fact it is one of those attributes of the Adamic nature one cannot explain how they cross over from one generation to the next. Children start to lie so early in life; long before they even get to understand basic concepts of life. If this tendency is not curtailed early enough the individual may grow up to become a chronic liar. There are some people who are so addicted to lies to the extent that even the truth sounds like lies in their mouth. If you don’t want your child to become one of such folks do everything within your power to instill truth consciousness into them before they become hardened and incorrigible. Remember that all liars shall go to hell (Revelations 21:8).
Laziness is a disease that kills intellect, ideas and wastes opportunities.A lazy man is a chronic non-achiever. He remains at the base perpetually; ever dreaming but never getting to the top. And this disease starts in childhood. Some children want everything to be done for them, including the things they can and should do for themselves. They just find it difficult to put their feet to the ground. Such children are good at manufacturing all manner of excuses to explain why they could not or should not do some things. Unfortunately, many parents constantly play into their hands. Give your children age-appropriate tasks and make sure they are up and doing. Don’t allow laziness in them, otherwise they will imbibe it as a way of life. And if they grow into adolescent with it, everyday you will keep fighting with them even to dress the bed on which they slept. There are many children who are gifted to be super stars and champions but laziness robbed them of those honourable positions. Let your children know from very early in life that laziness is forbidden in your home.
3. LACK OF CONTENTMENT:
This manifests in various forms like insatiable appetite, greed, selfishness, etc. Selfishness can be excused as one of the normal childish behaviours. But if it takes the turn of always craving for things and never being satisfied, or trying to monopolize what should be shared with others, then something needs to be done urgently. A greedy child will always be ungrateful and unhappy. And if it is condoned till later years of one’s life it becomes a serious problem. Many teenagers go into cultism and other vices because of lack of contentment. They are not content with what their parents give to them or to the opportunities they have in life. Some rob, maim or even kill others because of greed. They did not become robbers or killer overnight. It started in childhood. Or, the parents saw the signs but ignored them and assumed that the child would eventually outgrow it. Tackle lack of contentment and greed in your child now before it is too late.
Some children are bullies right from when they were toddlers, and their parents know it. They bully every other child around them, sometimes to the glee of their parents. Ignorance makes some parents to hail their bully children instead of reprimanding them. Mums, especially take it that their baby is super strong or macho man. A bully child will grow into a bully teenager then later become a bully adult. You cannot reshape a dry wood; if you try to do so it may break or injure you. Therefore, if you know, as I am thinking you should, that the life of a bully is not something worthy of emulation then do everything possible to rid your young child of that tendency now. We have bully husbands today, physically abusing their wives because they were not tamed as children. There are also bully wives, although they are in the minority.
I wonder how and why some people believe that a pilferer is not a thief. Many children indulge in pilfering right under their parents’ noses and no one takes it serious. They start from scooping milk from the milk container to picking pieces of meat from the soup pot. They graduate to taking few coins from their mummy’s purse to buy chocolates. Within a space of time he starts pilfering from friends and teachers in the school. All the while folks treat it with levity. As the child grows older, he has more pressing needs and starts taking things of higher value. With time, he gets hardened and becomes more daring and innovative in his pilfering business. Many of the dare-devil armed robbers we have today started with pilfering. Initially they thought it was a game and that they were being smart. And no one corrected them when their hearts were still impressionable. Take a very hard stand against any child that pilfers until the fellow is delivered totally. Use every possible and available tool, including prayers, counseling, different disciplinary measures, etc. to work on the child.
I have seen a case where a child of less than five years held his parents and every member of the family to ransom until his wish was granted. It was not a one-time occurrence; it happened repeatedly. He would insist on whatever he wanted and stand by it until his desires are met, whether they were right or wrong. No one could control him; he was like a lord and his words were laws in the home. There are many other cases like this one. And the parents will make bold to tell you that he is only a child and will get over it when he grows older. Blatant lie! A stubborn, unruly child will grow into a stubborn and unruly adult, unless the fellow encounters Jesus and gives and surrenders to His Lordship. The child that challenges you or raises his hands against you now and you are not doing anything about it will haul stones at you as a preteen and may point the gun at your head when he becomes a teenager. If you cannot get them to listen or obey you as children, you will definitely have no say over them as adolescents.
7. IMMORAL BEHAVIOR:
It is no longer news that children are overly exposed to adult contents these days. From the cartoons they watch to the product jingles and adverts on the TV screens. More are even calling their attention on the internet. The phones, laptops, game consoles and all other screens are full of contents that corrupt the minds of children. Are you aware that children as young as 4 years old are becoming addicted to pornography? And all these things are taking their toll on the moral life of our children. Many of them are indulging in immoral acts before their parents and while some ignorant parents assume that they are just playing with each other. You had better woken up before it is too late. Sit up and guide your children away from immorality if you notice them doing anything silly with themselves or with other children. It is addictive; once they start in that direction they may never stop. Adolescents naturally have problems managing their sexuality, but it becomes even more difficult if they had been exposed to such things as children. The number of porn stars and other sexual offenders we have today will reduce drastically if we start early to guide our children morally.
These 7 things mentioned have direct bearing to the life of every individual. Therefore, the earlier they are well managed in a child, the easier it becomes to raise that child into a responsible adult.
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