While it is effortless to like a girl and feel the pull of attraction towards her talking to her is an entirely different experience. Some men struggle with talking to a girl they like for various reasons, but the most prominent is the fear of rejection.
No one wants to be rejected!!
But come on, if you allow the fear of rejection to hold you back from reaching out to a lady you like, you will never enjoy the joy and happiness that comes with being in a relationship. Let’s not get into the “Serious” relationship conversation as that is an idea you can only explore after taking the first step: talking to her.
This article will inspire you with tested and proven steps to help you talk to any girl you like. Did you note the keyword at the title? FOOLPROOF!! When something is foolproof, it means the steps are simple yet reliable and leave no opportunity for errors, misuse, or failure.
This realization means that everything you will learn and unearth in this article will be so useful that you can talk to the girl you like right away. Let us begin with the first step, a foundational one that helps you refine your conversational skills.
Step One: Interact Randomly With Other Girls
The first step to talking to the girl you like is to build your conversational skills by talking with other girls. By other girls here, we mean other girls you meet at places where you could interact. This first step is crucial because some men fail to speak well with women they like because they cannot interact with the opposite sex.
Maybe you are shy or have had limited exposure to women (it doesn’t matter) now you are here reading this material that will change everything.
Every time you find yourself amid women at an event or someplace else, reach out to converse with them as this will help you learn how to stay relaxed when speaking to a girl. For example, if you enjoy parties, you will find a lot of girls, strike up a conversation with them.
Interacting randomly with girls is crucial, especially for men who have tried and failed to make a good impression with girls they like. You know what I mean: those awkward moments when it seems like your tongue is tied.
Should we talk about the sweaty palms and the sudden unease you feel to use the toilet? These are signs that you are not comfortable or confident when speaking with women, which has to change.
However, over time the more you speak ladies at events or in other places, the easier it becomes for you to hold a conversation with the woman you like. Women will quickly feel drawn to you and enjoy conversing with you if you are great at it, which means the saying “Practice makes perfect” applies to this situation.
Step Two: Approach Her and Speak Up
Okay so now you’ve built an excellent communication style and can speak well with women it is time to walk up to the lady you like and talk to her. If you like a lady for a long time and haven’t done anything about it, you may never get another opportunity.
Approach the lady of interest casually by walking up to her and saying, “Hi.” Of course, you should say hi with a beautiful smile on your face. Wait for her to respond with a “Hi” or “Hello” and then introduce yourself by stating your name.
Hold it for a minute, some men go right ahead, reeling out compliments about her hair or how she looks, and while this is great, you might run out of things to say later if you start with such praises.
She needs to know your name first; she needs to know who she is talking to and identify with a name that she can remember again. Get to know her name as well, and then you can give a compliment “That is a beautiful bracelet, do the charms have any specific meaning” can you tell how different this is from the regular chit-chat with a girl you like/
When you meet this lady you like and wish to talk to her for the first time, after the initial introductions, don’t get right to “I think you are beautiful” or “I like you” come on!!
If you use those obvious and predictable lines, she will lose interest faster than you know it because she probably hears that all the time. This realization is why we went with the bracelet narrative: by commenting on something, she seems to like you will be saying, “Hey, I am interested in you and want to know you.” As opposed to “Hey, I think you are beautiful, and that is the only reason I want to know you.”
Before walking up to her, find something uniquely appealing about her and use that as a starter. You can get to the “You are beautiful” part later, but some women no longer find it endearing because men commonly use it. You like this girl and other people like her as well, so do something that makes you stand out from the park.
When she responds that the bracelet’s charms represent her astrological signs, take the conversation up from that by sharing your thoughts on astrology.
Now, remember that this example with a bracelet is to show you how to approach a lady you like by using memorable conversation starters. It might not be a bracelet when you meet the woman you want, but whatever it is don’t state something evident like “You are beautiful” approach her with the readiness to be engaging, fun, flirty, and unpredictable with words in a respectful way.
Step Three: Show Genuine Interest In What She Says
While the conversation is ongoing, remember to show genuine interest in what she says and how she relates to you because she will be looking out for this. Sometimes women are like butterflies, they want you to admire their wings and beauty and still give them room to fly, but admiration must come first.
Aside from using endearing words on her an excellent way to show that you admire her and get to know her, she is present. Presence means you are attentive and interested in what she says, it also means being intentional with your interactions such that she knows you are focused on her.
One of the reasons some men don’t handle the initial interactions with a lady they like is that they are unsure if the ladies want them. But there are ways to tell if she likes you if that information will help you show interest in her.
On the contrary, if you are optimistic that she likes you, you should be interested in what she says. Let’s flip the table for a moment, how will you feel if you made genuine efforts to get to know someone else and the person was passive with everything you said. Some people even forget the names and specific details mentioned throughout the conversation.
If you don’t show interest in what she says, she will want to wrap up the conversation, which means you will miss your shot at getting the girl. Show interest by asking follow-up questions after she says something and pays attention to her response.
If she says something while laughing slightly, it means it’s something she doesn’t want to dwell on but join in the laughter and enjoy that moment. The girl will appreciate the attention; you will get to know her better, and guess what? It’s a win-win for you both!
Please understand that the best part of a conversation with a lady you like is when you can get and keep her attention, which swiftly happens when you pay attention to what she says. Smile, nod your head, listen attentively, reply, ask questions, use follow-up words, and you will make a lasting impression in her heart.
Step Four: Relax and Smile
Come on now; you are talking to the girl you like, so why are you stiff like you are at a job interview? If you are going to talk to the girl you like and succeed with the conversation, you must be at ease with her, and nothing says that better than a smile.
Yes, we know you are eager to learn more about her and get her to like you, but how do you intend to achieve that with a serious face? If you have liked the girl for a long time, then the build of emotions may make you tense, but if you don’t relax, you might mess it all up.
Smiling helps you relax and keeps you attractive as well: she would love the smile as it will also encourage her to smile. It’s okay to feel tensed inside (do you remember how tense and shy you were meeting your first school crush?) yes, we all have such moments, and so long you don’t let it out to disrupt the moment you will do just fine.
Laugh occasionally, don’t play with your fingers, listen with curiosity, and build a pleasant atmosphere around you both. That relaxed mood will help you get to know each other naturally without the pressures and questions like “Does she like me now? Does she know that I like her? Will we have subsequent moments together?.
You will have questions because she is someone you like. Still, at this conversational moment, such questions will not help you: the more you enjoy her company, stay relaxed and smile, the easier it will be to hold an impressive conversation with her (it will flow naturally). Let’s talk about the conversation itself and how to avoid awkward pauses.
Step Five: Keep the Conversation Going (Avoid Awkward Pauses)
Now to the discussion itself, which is the most crucial part of the process. There are many things to avoid while discussing with this girl you like, and the most crucial one is awkward pauses. Awkward pauses indicate that both parties have nothing to say to each other; they are also a sign that you are both bored.
If you like this girl so much, you want to be anything but dull, which means you must take the initiative all through the conversation by avoiding awkward pauses. The fact that you want to avoid awkward pauses doesn’t mean you should talk incessantly until she views you as the one who speaks too much.
You can avoid such pauses by keeping the conversation going with short stories, funny words, and sometimes completing her statement. Keeping a conversation going is a skill we all need to imbibe not just because you like someone but also because it is a skill you will generally need. So, let’s go back to the bracelet example.
After complimenting her bracelet and she says it has an astrological connection, why not go ahead and mention your zodiac sign? She will explain hers and explain why the bracelet is special, and you can talk about your love for jewelry or how you like minimal pieces.
Now between this point, when you talk about your jewelry choice and what should be mentioned next, there might be an awkward pause because she has just replied to your initial question about the bracelet. But don’t allow the pause to happen, so it means you must think on your feet while she’s talking: think of the next thing to say.
If you met her at a place you both regularly visit (grocery store, library, a friend’s home, etc.), you should ask about her visits. In some other cases, because you asked the first question, she will want to ask the next one. Can you now understand the dynamics of conversational patterns and how easy it is to allow awkward pauses to creep in, thus ruining the moment?
This realization is why you must take step one seriously (talking to random girls often). The more you interact with girls you don’t like, the easier it becomes for you to hold conversations with the girl you like as you will know the kind of topics girls love to discuss.
Some men feel lost about what to say because they don’t even have conversations with themselves: if they don’t know how to hold a line of thought with themselves, how will they do the same with a lady they like?
Let’s recap with this step: avoid awkward pauses, think on your feet, keep the conversation going, and remain an interested companion. If you can do these, you will succeed in your quest to communicate effectively with the girl you like.
Step Six: Ask Respectful Yet Exciting Questions
At this stage, you both have an idea about each other and are willing to either take the conversation further or recoil, but if you follow steps one to five, then you will make a good impression.
Moving on, step six entails you asking the right questions most respectfully and excitingly (to keep her interested). Questions are a normal part of conversations, but what makes them unique is not the “What” you ask but the “How.” How do you ask your questions? How you ask the questions will determine if the person will provide the kind of answer that makes the conversation interesting.
For example, instead of asking her, “How many siblings do you have?” (Which is too direct) wait until she hints at asking you about your family background. If you are curious, say, “I do miss my family and the dinners we have at home, do you have family in town?” Let’s break down this example: aside from the first question being too direct, it doesn’t require an elaborate answer to foster more communication. So what if she says, “I have four siblings?” there you have it, a simple, straightforward answer that might lead to an awkward pause.
But if you ask the second question, she will give a more detailed response that leads to the next talking point. She says, “Oh? Well, I do have family here, not my parents though just my siblings and their spouses”. You could say “Well that puts us on the same boat, we both miss our parents” can you see how asking questions the right way can help you stimulate the conversation excitedly such that you both now have something in common?
Always avoid questions that will lead to single answers or responses that don’t birth subsequent conversations. Yes/no answers are not good enough for such conversations because they abruptly bring the moment to an end.
How can I tell if a conversation will not lead anywhere? Well, practice! While executing step one, you can tell from people’s responses, the kind of questions that are conversation enablers, and conversation killers. Remember to ask respectful questions: you like this girl and want her to feel the same, so try not to be unintentionally disrespectful.
Avoid personal questions such as “Are you dating someone right now” “Who was that guy I saw with you earlier?” some of these questions may seem harmless to you, but for a first-time conversation, they are rude and can be a significant turn off for women.
You will get it right, and when you do, it will lead to the last foolproof and seventh step: continuation.
Step Seven: Ensure the Communication Continues Afterward
Learning how to talk with a girl you like doesn’t end with the initial conversation as we are trying to help you build a lasting connection with this girl. This realization means when dealing with the steps above, you must have one thing in mind: continuity.
This last step won’t count if you don’t like the girl enough to build a lasting connection with her. But if you do like her so much that you are ready to pursue a relationship with her, then you must ensure that communication continues after the initial conversation. How can you achieve such a continuation?
You can do that by ending the conversation with a follow-up statement. Don’t say, “Give me your number so I can call you” she might give you the number but fail to encourage subsequent conversation. Why not say, “How can we continue this conversation?” with this question, you are allowing her to take charge of the moment such that she decides if she wants to give you a phone number, social media handle, or some other way of contacting her.
Conversing with a girl you like doesn’t always mean you have to be in charge all the time: you can let her lead as this helps you maintain balance within the discourse. Always aim for continuation even from the first moment when you say, “Hello.” If you nurture this idea of continuity in your heart while conversing, you will take the steps above seriously and build up your talks to the climax (subsequent contact).
Some men don’t aim for continuity because they worry if the girls find them “Attractive.” Well, there are signs to tell if she is attracted to you within the course of the conversation. Afterward, make sure you both meet again as subsequent meetings will solidify the relationship.
You have unearthed the best ways to talk to a girl you like, and nothing can stop you now from reaching out to her and building a friendship that will further blossom into a relationship.