I’m sure you are already familiar with things that turn men off, such as playing hard to get or being insecure.
Well, women aren’t the only ones with major turn-offs when it comes to relationships!
I asked several male friends over the age of 40, “What turns men off?”
Though you’ve probably heard of some of these turn-offs for guys, they still remain some of the most common dating mistakes women make. so maybe this article will help you understand the impact on your long-term relationships.
Take the relationship advice to help navigate the world of love if it’s something you wish to do.
So what turns men off?
1. Being arrogant.
One of the prominent things among smart women is that the are highly arrogant and is demeaning to a man. When that happens, a man’s resistance is not to her intelligence but to her attitude and disrespect.
Arrogance is not confidence. You don’t want a man to talk down to you and a man doesn’t want you to talk down to him.
Most men want a partner with whom they can have conversations about life, work, family, politics, challenges, and everything — so he wants a woman who is intelligent.
2. No calls and only texts
It’s true that two of you are adorable and meant for each other. You spend days and nights texting each other, chatting about all the things beautiful. You love texting him, sending him photos and chatting endlessly. But maybe your man doesn’t like it. He is obviously expecting you to make calls so that he can hear your voice and talk to you. Most men love calls over texts. They hate to type out things and then wait for a response. So if you are a text lover, time to change ladies.
3. Faking it.
No, I’m not talking about sex, but that applies here too.
Faking is a game that most men don’t like to play. One of the examples men spoke about is when a woman pretends to like something he said or did so that he will like her.
A man who is secure will be okay if you don’t think everything he says or does is funny or brilliant, as long as you aren’t rude about it. Acknowledge and appreciate him when it is authentic.
You do want a “real” relationship where you can be your authentic self and know he loves you for you, don’t you? So does he! Women clients often talk about how they feel betrayed when a man isn’t honest with them. This is a lesson that goes both ways. In the end, it won’t work if either of you can’t be yourself.
Here are some examples of faking it: Being happy when you are depressed, acting like you are enjoying something when you don’t, being interested in his work when you are bored, and saying you love to do something when you don’t (like football, fishing, working out all the time, boating, or horror movies).
Pretending you are someone you are not doesn’t work in the long run. You could say another word for “faking it” or “pretending” is lying, and that is not a strong foundation for a true partnership.
And don’t fake it sexually. During sex, communicate what you like so he knows and hopefully he will do that, too, so you both learn about how to please the other. If you want a satisfying sexual relationship, don’t pretend you like something that doesn’t really turn you on.
4. Playing dumb.
If you are a woman who thinks men don’t want you to be smart, think again. Healthy men are attracted to confident, happy, and smart women. Over the years, men tell me they love smart women.
The point of dating is to first find someone you would like to be with, not to find just any guy who likes you.
Do you want to spend your life with a man who doesn’t value your intelligence (or anything else about you)? If he doesn’t value who you are and appreciate your brilliance, the relationship you have isn’t a real relationship because you can’t be you.
The message is to follow your dream and be your brilliant self. If a man doesn’t find that attractive, move on.
5. Too much makeup
A little make-up on your date is okay but men totally hate it when women go overboard thinking they look like a diva. Men usually prefer women who are naturally beautiful and these days men can very well understand when a woman has put on a lot of makeup and when she is moderately dressed up. It really turns them off because they have no clue how you look without makeup and it is a constant distraction for them
6. Always being on the phone
Another turn-off is when women are on a date and are still spending half their time on phones either chatting, clicking selfies, or browsing the internet. Give all your attention to your man whenever you are with him and avoid checking your phone often because he may have not told you, but he hates it.
7. A woman who doesn’t embrace her feminine energy.
In a couple, one person typically has more female energy and the other more masculine energy. Both types of energy are a part of all of us and different circumstances can bring one out more. The stereotypes of the past do not hold anymore.
If you are a woman bringing masculine energy to the relationship but you want a strong man, there’s no room for a man to be masculine without trying to dominate you. This is a common challenge for my female clients and something I’ve learned in my marriage.
Tony Robbins says it is polarity in relationships — “the spark that occurs between two opposing energies: masculine and feminine” — that drives and sustains passion. When you both have the same energy, you may have more in common but lack passion. Robbins also says when women are stressed or tired, they go into protection mode and become more masculine…leading to zero possibility of passion in the relationship.
Men often compete to be the “Alpha” or lead male. When a woman is bringing her masculine energy, she may be consciously or unconsciously competing to be the alpha male. Maybe this works if you are in a leadership role in your organization, especially if you are in a highly competitive male-dominated environment.
On the other hand, many women have feminine energy we deny or suppress, especially at work, and that creates stress for us because we are not being who we really are. You may not realize this because masculine energy — male and female — is all you’ve seen demonstrated in your workplace.
When you are being more forceful and not tapping into your feminine energy, you may not only be denying a part of who you are, you may be suppressing your gifts of feminine energy, including emotional IQ, collaboration, listening, appreciation, and connecting.
Feminine energy is powerful, but it is not dominating. One of the men responding said, “I want a strong woman who can allow me to have my authentic emotion.” Men need for us to hold the space for them to feel comfortable enough to express themselves and listen.
8. Poor hygiene.
This is just plain and simple. If a woman doesn’t have good hygiene it is a big turn-off to men. A man wants someone who can take care of them.
If a woman can’t even bother to take care of herself, how would she be able to care for him?