The bliss that comes with marriage cannot be contested. It just makes you feel on top of the world.
As today’s divorce rate shows, not every couple goes on to have a happy marriage. But that doesn’t have to be you!
The three most important things in a marriage are respect, kindness, and teamwork.
In order to have a strong marriage, the two of you must make time for just each other and remind yourselves of the love that you built your relationship upon. Even if your life gets busy, you have to prioritize making time for your spouse as that’s important for making your love last for ages.
In order to keep your loving relationship, you can’t lose those things. The secret to a successful marriage is to always let each other how much you love them, to have each other’s backs, and always check in sometimes to see how your spouse is doing.
Here are the 30 best marriage tips from marriage experts that will take your relationship to another level.
1. Take responsibility for your part in the marriage.
“When you are in denial about your part in the relationship, then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way.” — Carin Goldstein, LMFT
2. Show affection for each other.
“Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high-fives or even fist-bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!” — Lori Lowe, MA
3. Agree to disagree.
“No two people agree on everything, and that’s okay, but it’s important to be okay with each other’s differences.” — Lee Bowers, LP, PhD
4. Do something sweet once and a while.
“Take the time to write a thoughtful note every so often saying what you love and appreciate about him/her. Drop it in his/her briefcase or purse so he/she will find it unexpectedly and it will brighten up his/her day.” — Suzanne K. Oshima, dating coach
5. Take some time for yourself.
“Men don’t need to solve or fix everything; listening is an exceptional gift. For women, it’s important to understand that men need time for themselves. By giving him space to pull away and not taking it personally, you allow him to reconnect with his desire for you and his commitment to the relationship.” — MarsVenus Coaching
6. Don’t try changing your partner.
“When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that ‘who you are is not enough.’ Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.” — Dr. Rick Kirschner, relationship coach
7. Use alternative remedies.
“Throw at it every possible remedy you’ve got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your marriage will get stronger and stronger.” — Alisa Bowman, relationship coach
8. Always communicate your feelings.
“Communicate how you feel using ‘I’ statements. It’s not your partner’s job to read your mind, guess what you’re thinking, or put words into your mouth. These are huge obstacles to open, honest communication and will guarantee resentment, anger, and frustration in the relationship.” — Sharon Rivkin, MA, MFT
9. Both you and your partner can make valid points in arguments.
“In order to strengthen your marriage, learn to recognize that most arguments have shared responsibility, that both people have valid points and valid reasons for their feelings.” — Kathy Morelli, LPC
10. Bring fairness to the relationship.
“You may have forgotten about fairness, but now’s the time to bring it back into your relationship. Are you both being fair when it comes to divvying up chores, communicating your needs, expressing dissatisfaction, dealing with finances, parenting, and supporting one another? If not, how can you improve and bring fairness back to the relationship?” — Lisa Steadman, dating and relationship coach
11. Make your relationship your top priority.
“When other things become more important, such as careers, children, and personal pursuits, trouble sets in. Make the relationship your top priority. When you do, the marriage flourishes.” — Cathy Meyer, CPC, MCC
12. Treat your partner with kindness.
“If your spouse treats you with kindness, gentleness, patience, and self-control, it’s easy for you to respond kindly. If you are treated badly, with anger, or impatience, it’s difficult to be nice in return. Focus on how you can be a blessing to your spouse and, in turn, you will be blessed and so will your marriage.” — Mack Har
13. Don’t share thoughts, share feelings.
“Instead start with the word ‘I’ and then share your feelings instead of your thoughts. This is not as easy as it sounds because we all disguise a lot of thoughts as feelings, as in ‘I feel like you are avoiding me.’ Genuine feelings are sad, angry, happy, lonely, and frustrated, and sharing your core feelings creates better communication, and more connection and compassion.” — Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM
14. Appreciate your partner.
“Shift your perspective to one of learning to appreciate your partner.” — Michelle Poll, CPC, MA
15. Let your partner know how you feel about them.
“Focus on what there is to appreciate about your mate, then honestly and spontaneously express your specific appreciation to them. It’s also good to do this for yourself.” — Judith Joyce, life coach
16. Make time for romance.
“Setting aside a romantic evening on a regular basis can rekindle the magic of a long-term relationship. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just special time for the two of you to remember how and why you first fell in love.” — John Sovec, LMFT
17. Don’t only talk about stressful things together.
“No talk about kids or schedules allowed.” — Mary Kay Aide, MS
18. Keep the marriage fresh.
“So many of my patients say the reason their marriage fell apart is that they became depressed and disinterested in their partner. If you keep working on yourself, your marriage will stay fresh and vital. Start today by adding a new wedding vow to your list: Promise to take care of yourself so you will continue to age with grace and confidence by your partner’s side.” — Mary Jo Rapini, LPC
19. Take your anger and turn it around.
“So take whatever you’re upset with him/her about and use it to help yourself look squarely at what you need to do in order to grow and evolve. The relationship will thrive!” — Ilene Dillon, LCSW, LMFT
20. Make a commitment to spend time just the two of you.
“With today’s hectic schedules, it’s easy to find your marriage at the bottom of the priority list. Take a walk and hold hands (nature calms), couple-cook (food fight!), exercise together (tennis or dancing maybe?) or just collect a ‘daily joke’ to share. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but if you make the commitment and effort to laugh together as often as possible, it can sweeten your connection and cement your relationship for life.” — Melodie Tucker, CPC
21. Don’t blame your spouse for small inconveniences.
“For instance, it’s your spouse’s job to walk the dog in the morning, but you discover dog poop on the kitchen floor, and cleaning it up makes you late for work. Instead of immediately placing blame, saying something like, ‘I’m puzzled about what happened with Spot this morning,’ is a gentle way to start a conversation.” — Jean Fitzpatrick, LP
22. Think about the good times.
“Spend a few minutes each day briefly reliving those moments in your mind. The results will amaze you.” — Lucia, dating coach
23. Practice these sayings.
“Try these: ‘I love you’, ‘I’m here for you’, “I understand, ‘I’m sorry, ‘Thank you’, ‘I really appreciate all that you do’, ‘It’s so nice to see you’, ‘That was quite an accomplishment!'” — Gina Spielman
24. Leave them love notes.
“Appreciate them from your heart about who they are at their essence. Leave gratitude in love notes, hide them so they will find them, or look deeply into their eyes and tell them. Be creative!” — Linda Marie, RN, BSN
25. Create time together.
“Couples need to understand the notion of spending ‘time’ together versus creating sacred time together. Spending time at social events, time with family, and doing ‘chores’ together does not count as sacred time. Instead, carve out special time to not only be intimate, but also ensure that you continue to share new experiences together such as hiking, exploring someplace new, or arranging a stay-cation in your own city.” — Marni Battista, CPC
26. Compliment each other.
“A compliment is a sign of acknowledgment and appreciation. Make an effort to affirm your spouse’s value in life, and in love.” — Nicole Johnson, dating and relationship coach
27. Listen to each other.
“Sit down, listen to each other, and write out how you want your future as a couple to look. It’s much easier to create your best relationship together if both people’s needs are voiced, heard, and supported by their partner.” — Eve Agee, PhD
28. Support each other.
“Do everything you can to support your partner’s well-being, and respect your partner as you would your best friend.” — John Gerson, Ph.D
29. Make date night a priority.
“Date night is sacred and special and should be on the same day of the week every week. One week the wife should suggest the date idea and the husband should come up with the date night plan for the opposite week. This encourages both the husband and wife to be invested in date night.” — Julie Spira, dating and relationship coach
30. Try some tantric sex techniques.
“Learn and practice Tantra and tantric sex techniques.” — Judith Condon